


Well You... \o/

by J000liet



Series: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Bokuto cannot handle it, M/M, Trash Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 17:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11361993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J000liet/pseuds/J000liet
Summary: They may be quiet, but that doesn't mean they can't insult someone.





	Well You... \o/

**Author's Note:**

> There are some references in here. Don't mean to take them, there just some of my favorites.

It was a practice match (semi-official, on the books, not just practicing together). Nekoma was up by one when Bokuto heard it the first time.

“You smell like Bokuto threw up on you. What? Did he see your face?”

He didn’t know who had said it, so he just slammed the ball extra hard.

They were now tied.

“If you're all blood in the same veins, then your person must have high cholesterol.”

_That was Akaashi. But who was he talking to?_

Point for Nekoma.

“I can’t believe you used to be the best mom in the world.”

Tied.

“Thats a bad sunburn. Oh wait, that’s your face trying to escape.”

 _That was Akaashi again_ … He almost missed the spike.

Point for Nekoma anyways.

“You’re about as useful as a knitted condom.”

_Wait… that can’t be…_

Bokuto eyed the other side of the net. Three players at the net: Lev, Kuroo, and Kenma.

 _It has to be one of them_.

He won that spike.

“I thought a little girl from Kansas dropped a house on you.”

Bokuto heard him say it that time. _But who is Akaashi talking to!?_

“I’m jealous of people that don’t know you.”

_Wait…_

He missed the point.

“KENMA!” He pointed.

“I can explain it to you…” Kenma looked at Akaashi through the net, “but I can’t understand it for you.”

“What?” Bokuto eyed Akaashi. Point for Nekoma.

“You are a sad little man, and you have my pity.” Akaashi smiled.

“Aka...ashi?” Bokuto’s jaw dropped.

“Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?” Kenma fired back.

Bokuto missed the spike again.

“You’re as sharp as a marble.” Akaashi smiled again.

Kenma smiled back. “I could carve a better man out of a banana.”

Spike = missed. Game called. Nekoma wins.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” Bokuto fell over.

Kenma smiled.

“You know Akaashi, maybe if we tell your boyfriend his brain is an app he’ll start using it.”

Akaashi sighed. “I wish that were true.”

“Good game.” Kenma smiled.

“You too.”

Every one went over to their coaches, leaving Bokuto laying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

"Akaashi, are you going to pick him up?" Coach asked.

Akaashi sighed. "Oi," he walked over. "Ready for the team meeting?"

"EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!" He sat up and screamed before laying back down.

"Kenma, you broke my boyfriend. Fix it." Akaashi called out before returning to his team.

"That would imply he wasn't broken already."

"KENMA'S NOT INNOCENT!?" Bokuto started sobbing.

"Well..." Nekomata laughed. "I believe the expression is 'DUH.'"

 


End file.
